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Screenshot: The Witcher/Netflix (Fair Use) Netflix apparently doesn’t want you to go outside again before 2022, given how much stuff they’re cramming onto their service in December: with new seasons of past breakouts, star-studded original films, comedy specials, and so much reality TV, who needs reality? Reality is depressing! Without a doubt, the month’s biggest drop is season two of The Witcher (Dec. 17), the heavy metal answer to Game of Thrones that turned out to be the surprise worldwide genre TV hit of 2019. Based on the novels by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski, the series succeeds by embracing the weirder elements of epic fantasy, none of this “actually it’s more of a historical drama with light magic” shit. Just check out that trailer: we’ve got dragons and monsters of all sizes, giant tree people, a disturbingly alive flaming body, houses that move, and even a (gasp) foregrounded female protagonist in Ciri (Freya Allan), who will spend less time running this season and more time honing her powers alongside Henry Cavill’s Geralt of Rivia. Fun but not jokey, serious but not dour, and decidedly weird. More fantasy like this, please. And speaking of fantasy, Netflix is also debuting another season of Emily in Paris (Dec. 22), which I have not seen but which I have come to understand is the hate-watch that got a lot of you through the early part of the pandemic. And hey, the pandemic is…still not over, so you could probably use somewhere to channel […]