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Photo: Devojka I don’t think I really know what the term “Champagne Year” means. I faintly recall someone telling me sometime, but the definition felt unremarkable and unfitting for such a forceful duo of words—CHAMPAGNE YEAR—so my brain must have immediately rejected it. When I think “Champagne Year,” I think of a train of silk gowns and draped jewels and patent shoes; a turbulent cha-cha line of bodies whose heads are obscured by a cloud of laughter and smoke and chatter as they shimmy down Easy Street. Or perhaps more profoundly—a year that is so momentous as to warrant a yearlong dance party and some self-satisfaction, or Burt Bacharach getting to that “Something Big” he’d been holding out for. I think of raised arms and triumphant cheering. I think of a kind of victory. And when I think victory, I think revenge. Revenge often gets maligned, but it can be pretty great if you do it right. Firstly, it’s almost always best achieved by a life well-lived, and secondly, it is best served cold. And since there’s no time like the present, or no present like time or whatever, 2022 could be a great year for crushing the dicks of all your enemies by living well. And for that, you’re gonna need a lot of champagne! If you can dress for the job you want, you can drink for the person you want to be. Sure, drinking champagne with caviar over fine linen at a respectable hour for a […]